


Spider-Man Offical[ly raised hell]

by historydork



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Deaf Clint Barton, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Gay, I saw everyone doing one and i wanted to too im sorry, Ignoring Canon, Irondad, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Multi, Pansexual Tony Stark, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous Characters, Social Media, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter, Twitter Fic, but im also excited, first fanfiction ever here we go people, help me im scared, im gay, im really sorry lmao, please no death i only smol, thought everyone should know, tony stark's science children, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-07-31 05:53:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20110192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/historydork/pseuds/historydork
Summary: Peter Parker, alone at 2am.Bored out of his mind.Nothing around but his own admittedly horrible self-control and a phone....im sorry i saw everyone making twitter fics and i wanted. to do. that.so i have and i am and im rly excited and terrified because first?? fanfiction?? woah guys help me im just a small bi





	1. tony stark. a dad.

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

why do buildings hurt so much. buildings should be,, softer

**nedder @chairguy**

..we rly doin this huh

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

i am. confusion? u ok probably fake-spidey?

**sunny @SummerDays**

these fake accounts smh

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@ClintonJE @SummerDays :( imma real boy!! im the real spiderman :(

**sunny @SummerDays**

lol ok? doubt it but go off ig

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@OfficialSpider-Man Kid, what are you doing making a twitter account at 2am? And did you really smack into another tower on patrol??

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

SCREAMING,, wTF did i WITNESS @wolfie GET OVER HERE @Klingy @flowerpower @ClauriceDA @RinaJA

**toby klingston @Klingy**

HEYY biTCH IM ALREADY HERE @ClintonJE you think im missing this tea sis???

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

im dying my tiny gay ass can'T DEAL BRO

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@Iron-Man you worry wart im fineee

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@OfficialSpider-Man ..Kid...

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@Iron-Man daaAAADD

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

go to bed or I'm selling your tumblr account

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

asdfghdgfhj WHAT TUMBLR ACCOUNT

**nedder @chairguy**

rip spidey i loved you

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

bed.

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

and i oop

**sunny @SummerDays**

this is a blessed timeline

**toby klingston @Klingy**

tea sis @wolfie @flowerpower @ClauriceDA @RinaJA ya'll miSSED OUT HUNNY

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

absolute tea

**fairychild @sipsip**

tony stark, a dad. who knew


	2. day 2

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

Day 2. i am now awake and can experience the full regret of my actions.

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

good.

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

i have no regrets

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

bad.

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@Iron-Man ...<3??

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

You're a PR nightmare, kiddo. You're lucky Pep adores you.

**Pepper Potts @CEOStarkIndustries**

@OfficialSpider-Man @Iron-Man My fearsome reputation. Gone. Also you have a meeting, starting 20 minutes ago.

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

I'm sure you'd be delighted to know your fearsome reputation is still 100% whole. I'm a genius, don't question the math.

**Pepper Potts @CEOStarkIndustries**

Run.

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

Running.

**michelle bones @MJ**

Pepper Potts, a Queen.

**nedder @chairguy**

@MJ a true Icon

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

@MJ a Business Queen

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@Iron-Man DAD <3??????????

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@OfficialSpider-Man what have i become...<3

**fairychild @sipsip**

@Iron-Man soft

**bluechild @LoserLancer**

wow. tony stark? experience human emotions? mainstream media would never

**toby klingston @Klingy**

my ache is clear, my crops are growing, my skin is poppin, my tea is piping @ClintonJE what'S UP

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

@Klingy bitch i am so glad that stab wound didnt kill me so i could be here to witness this ultimate glory

**toby klingston @Klingy**

@Clinton JE ouch :( too soon?

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

@Klingy humour or death.

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@ClintonJE ...should i be looking down any specific alley ways? U ok??

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

asdfdgfhg HI HELLO WOW NO IM OK just another scar heavier :))

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@ClintonJE ok, but if you need any help!! i can fight real good!

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

me too!!

**wrongulus @wolfie**

@ClintonJE sure, jan. that's why you got stabbed.

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

@wolfie :(


	3. Captain, oh my captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!  
Welcome to chapter 3 :)
> 
> I don't really have anything else to say, so..?
> 
> Edit: I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY THANK YOU?? FOR ALL THE NICE COMMENTS OH MY WORD  
i love and would die for all the like 4 people who have commented so far im,,,

**Capsicle @CapnMURICA**

Hello everyone, this is Captain America speaking!

**Capsicle @CapnMURICA**

Wait why is that my name? How do I change my name?

**sunny @SummerDays**

ohhhhh i hope this isnt a fake account that would be tubular

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

this is golden. no one tell him, pleasseee

**Lily @flowerpower**

Oh my god this is actual captain america?? Red-skull defeater? World War 2 fighter? WTF?? @ClintonJE @Klingy @wolfie waKE UP SLEEPY HEADS

**toby klingston @Klingy**

my quEEN THANK YOU FOR ALERTING ME TO THIS GOLD

**wrongulus @wolfie**

y do u keep involving me in your avengers drama?? lemme sleeppp

**Lily @flowerpower**

@wolfie its?? 1pm??

**wrongulus @wolfie**

and?

**Capsicle @CapnMURICA**

Tony! Help me please?? 

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

no

**stonyislife @stony**

scREAMING MY OTP INTERACTING IM-

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

oh this is the best timeline

**Capsicle @CapnMURICA**

I'm never trusting @parkbench or you @Iron-Man again for social media help. Next time I'll just ask Pepper. :(

**Pepper Potts @CEOStarkIndustries**

A wise choice, @CapnMURICA.

**michelle bones @MJ**

no sympathy @CapnMURICA, you trusted @parkbench. you asked for this.

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

@MJ :)

**Flash Thompson @flashdashcrash**

Why the shit is @parkbench tagged in a post by captain fucking america???

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

@flashdashcrash ehehehehehehe

**nedder @chairguy**

this thread is a mess. absolute trash mess.

**fairychild @sipsip**

@chairguy and one man's trash is another non-binary's treasure.


	4. ...captain, oh my captain...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all im screamin u guys are so nice what have i done to deserve y'all  
im adopting all of you as my new friends, god knows i need some. you have no choice. <3
> 
> ENJOY MY BULLSHIT, this is gonne be a longer one :) i think

**CapdadAmerica @dadvenger**

All the avengers are dead to me.

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

AASFDSGFJHGLKJL CAPDAD AMERICA IM DEAD

**wife2 @RinaJA**

we stan a good team dad

**toby klingston @Klingy**

@RinaJA "we stan a good team dad" says the team dad about the other team dad

**wife2 @RinaJA**

ive been attacked

**wife1 @ClauriceDA**

@RinaJA he's not wrong??

**wife2 @RinaJA**

@ClauriceDA divorced. blocked. reported.

**CapdadAmerica @dadvenger**

To all my followers, I hope none of you like Hawkeye, because this is possibly the last you'll ever see him alive.

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

ehehehehehehehe

**CapdadAmerica @dadvenger**

@hawkeydorkey Dead. You are dead.

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

you can't kill me! im [the] bad bitche[s favourite bitch] @BlackWidow

**Natasha Romanov @BlackWidow**

@hawkeydorkey @dadvenger you can have him.

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK i thought you loved me??

**CapdadAmerica @dadvenger**

@BlackWidow Thank you, Nat, for making the right decision. :(

**Cindy Moon @moon**

oof the betrayal

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

love it when people u care about stab you in the back oof mOOD SIS

**nedder @chairguy**

!!! i would never!!!

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

i know <3

**nedder @chairguy**

good <3

**Natasha Romanov @BlackWidow**

@hawkeydorkey our wife's hotter, we don't need you. @dadvenger can have you.

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

oof truth we scoRED love you @LBarton uwu. but also hey!! meanie!!

**Natasha Romanov @BlackWidow**

I'm always mean, we've established this. And yes, yes we scored. I scored. You're about to be skinned alive, so I win.

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

ouch we're getting divorced :( im gonna go and elope with sam

**Laura Barton @LBarton**

@BlackWidow @hawkeydorkey why did I marry you

**Natasha Romanov @BlackWidow**

I have no idea

**TheFalcon @buckybarnes-isa-loser**

@hawkeydorkey we are not eloping

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

@buckybarnes-isa-loser :( !!! i thought we had something special :( birdbros???

**TheFalcon @buckybarnes-isa-loser**

@hawkeydorkey I ain't no cheap bitch, I need that 4 tier cake, golden invitations, 5-star photographer, and bitches know I'm getting that million dollar dress

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

well im broke @dadvenger dad can i have 20 bucks

**CapdadAmerica @dadvenger**

Not until you change my name!

**RealHawkeye @hawkeydorkey**

aww but it suits you so well!

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@dadvenger Clint does have A Point™.

**James @jamjammy**

tony stark typing like a gen z is my aesthetic

**CapdadAmerica @dadvenger**

No Clint doesn't have a point! And, Tony, why are you typing like that?? Has @parkbench been teaching you about meems again while you work? I thought you were taking a break from the labs :(

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

oh he caught me

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

I stand by my statement. And @parkbench you blew our cover!

**CapdadAmerica @dadvenger**

Tony! You know its not healthy.

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

and i oop

**michelle bones @MJ**

@Iron-Man @parkbench like meme-father like meme-son

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

ASDFAFSKLHKJ MJ!!!

**James @jamjammy**

bitcH IM SCREAMIN 

**fairychild @sipsip**

some fuckin tEA™ was spilt today and i am LIVING for it. Polyavengers? FuCK YES HUNNY

**stonyislife @Stony**

me,, is,,, a soft hoe,,,,,, ugh yes tony and steve interacting biTCH IM T H R I V I N G

**Flash Thompson @flashdashcrash**

what. the. fuck. @parkbench you better have a fucking explanation i swear

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

yEET


	5. i thought we were connected??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my boiiiiooo harley keener!!! im sof for harley keener lads lets fuckin goOO

**honeyugota @bigstormcomin**

so,,, to summarise,,, @OfficialSpider-Man has an official twitter,,, he has a father son relationship with @Iron-Man. There's also??? some random?? child??? @park-bench who has been tagged in two (2) posts by Captain?? Fucking?? America?? he works with Tony Stark in "the labs" and teaches him memes,,, WTF IS GOING ON I AM CONFUSION-

**i drink to forget @butialwaysremember**

dont forget @Black Widow and @hawkeydorkey being married?? in a polyamorous relationship?? the internet handed me a drink and i took a sip expecting water and now my tongue is SCORCHED and BURNT from this PIPING hot TEA

**fairychild @sipsip**

Stark went from having no children to like 60. how many children does @Iron-Man even HAVE?? I NEED TO KNOW

**Sally B @lesbionest**

@Iron-Man pLEASE THE STANS ARE ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEATS

**abbey queerer @brokemydorawatch**

@lesbionest so are the gays

**harley queerer @brokeintomygarage**

@brokemydorawatch @ me next time coward

**abbey queerer @brokemydorawatch**

the gay @brokeintomygarage is on the edge of his seat

**harley queerer @brokeintomygarage**

thank you. And yes I would like?? to know?? @Iron-Man I THOUGHT I WAS THE OG CHILD YOU OLD BASTARD

**abbey queerer @brokemydorawatch**

@Iron-Man i lent you my dora watch :( i thought we were connected??

**harley queerer @brokeintomygarage**

@Iron-Man I thought we were connected???!!

**toby klingston @Klingy**

whomst the fucketh are these guys???? someone get @Iron-Man on the phone?? @parkbench @OfficialSpider-Man

**Sally B @lesbionest**

aMEriCA exPlAIn?

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

@lesbionest @Klingy I wish I knew

**Sally B @lesbionest**

@dadvenger EYE- AasdfaghkjLJFA

**Felicity Green @greeniebeenie**

@lesbionest U JUST GOT @ed BY CAPTAIN AMERICA HOW WE DOIN??

**Sally B @lesbionest**

EYE-

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

WAIT IF CAP REPLIED DOES THIS MEAN??? THE @brokeintomygarage and @brokemydorawatch KIDS ARE SPILLIN TEA?

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@brokeintomygarage @brokemydorawatch all this because @OfficialSpider-Man decided to make a twitter account. I hope the spiderbaby regrets his decisions deeply.

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@Iron-Man nope

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

my life is just one huge continuous PR nightmare

**yeeter-parker @parkbench**

who will win the race to publish the first article detailing twitter's latest discoveries about tony stark's children?? my bets on @DailyBugle fucking cowards

**harley queerer @brokeintomygarage**

@parkbench hello, replacement

**yeeter-parker @parkbench**

@brokeintomygarage hello, old news

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

BOYS BEHAVE PLEASE,, be nice to each other

**abbey queerer @brokemydorawatch**

no let them finish

**Pepper Potts @CEOStarkIndustries**

@Iron-Man 

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@CEOStarkIndustries your office, 5 minutes. i know the drill

**yeeter-parker @parkbench**

@CEOStarkIndustries Miss Pepper Pots CEO ma'am? i would- i would die for you

**Pepper Potts @CEOStarkIndustries**

@parkbench Then Perish.

**michelle bones @MJ**

@CEOStarkIndustries please dont ma'am that's my emotional support white boy there

**nedder @chairguy**

@CEOStarkIndustries miss pepper you cant aliven't him you dont have all the facts: i love him

**yeeter-parker @parkbench**

@MJ @chairguy ILY <3

**michelle bones @MJ**

... <3

**nedder @chairguy**

!!! <3

**Pepper Potts @CEOStarkIndustries**

@MJ @chairguy He will live. For now.

**harley queerer @brokeintomygarage**

@parkbench we will meet again soon,,, replacement

**yeeter-parker @parkbench**

@brokeintomygarage indeed we shall,,, lesser starkson

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@brokeintomygarage and @brokemydorawatch are coming to the tower. This is going to go so, so bad.. 

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

You were the one who bought their tickets, Tones.

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@dadvenger hush, steven,, leave me to wallow in regret

**harley queerer @brokeintomygarage**

@Iron-Man :)

**abbey queerer @brokemydorawatch**

@Iron-Man :)

**yeeter-parker @parkbench**

@Iron-Man :)

**Spider-Man @OfficialSpider-Man**

@Iron-Man :)

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

oh no


	6. steve please put the twitter down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya'LL IM SCREAMIN you guys are being so nice to me and im?? just??  
wowww
> 
> guys ily all like holy fuck ya'll such sweethearts idk what to do this  
all this is just,, the 11pm work of a dumbass white girl with a computer and some sadness and ya'll making me thrive like wtf  
pLEASE come scream at me on twitter im @hisshisshistory
> 
> ILY ALL AND I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST LIKE YOU GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW  
UGHHH I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH I WISH YOU THE BEST FOR SCHOOL AND LIFE AND LOVE AND FRIENDS
> 
> (my friend told me not to go expressing undying love to strangers on the internet but fUCK IT I LOVE YOU ALL)  
(i should probably listen she's like my mum tbh)  
(if you're reading this hi mum)
> 
> this is a shorter chapter but its 10:50pm and im tired yall but i was bolstered by your nice comments and wanted to provide more content. not entirely happy w/this one but im excited for the next few chapters. How would you all feel if i included some actual writing?? Like the interview and harley + peter meeting?? let me know!! <3

_harley queerer messaged Connected_

**potatoboy:** tony,, did you actually buy us plane tickets?????

**you know who i am:** ..yes? did you not want me to? i thought you wanted to meet pete

**abbeyy: **sdksfgdhj we actually goin?

**potatoboy:** i mean if we can get mom to agree but like??

**you know who i am:** oh its fine i contacted your mother already

**potatoboy:** you know our mom?

**you know who i am:** yes? we message so i can keep up to date on all my black mail material

**abbeyy: **so

**abbeyy:** last tuesday

**abbeyy**: when i

**you know who i am:** yes

**potatoboy****:** ahahha loserrrrr

**abbey****y: **oh

**you know who i am:** moving on,,

**abbeyy****:** absolutely

**potatoboy:** yes, back onto the topic: you bought us plane tickets?? you message my mother on a semi-regular basis????

**you know who i am****:** i said i messaged for blackmail, not all the time

**potatoboy****:** i hacked her phone dont lie to my face ever again

**potatoboy****: **anyway. we are going to get to meet?? Him™?? The Replacement™?

**you know who i am:** Peter is not your replacement, Harley, i care nonexistently about all of you equally, in a non anything type of way

**abbeyy:** sure dad

**you know who i am:** zip it and get to packing. I want to _not_ see you at all as _soon_ as possible. I do not care.

**potatoboy****:** sure jan

**abbeyy****:** we <3 you 5ever too dad

**you know who i am**: i have no idea what you're talking about. stop stalling and start hauling

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

You think you know your partner, then all of a sudden they turn around and they have like 58 children... 

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@dadvenger @ me next time binch. and i do not have 58 children, you dramatic ass

**yeeter-parker @parkbench**

@Iron-Man yeah he doesn't have 58 children. he has 6. duh

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@parkbench blocked and reported

**michelle bones @MJ**

dont you mean grounded, blocked and reported, Iron-DAD?

**tinyboy @ClintonJE**

ASFDFGFJK YOU THINK YOU KNOW YOUR """"PARTNER""""" ???????? UMMM BITCH WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIP?? @dadvenger PLZ EXPLAIN OH MY

**toby klingston @Klingy**

EYE-

**sunny @SummerDays**

oh,,, my,,,, good,,, gOD praise jesus christ hallelUJAH ON THIS BLESSED, BLESSED DAY.

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@dadvenger did you just,,,

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

@Iron-Man oops?

**Pepper Potts @CEOStarkIndustries**

@dadvenger PR. Nightmares.

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

this is,, not how this was supposed to go. at all...

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

steven, love, please put twitter down

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

:(

**Stark Industries @SI**

@Iron-Man and @dadvenger will not be taking questions during this time. An interview will be held in a few days time to address some of the current questions surrounding Tony Stark's relationship and parental status. Thank you for your patience.


	7. interview p1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the interview!! Is *almost* here!! I started writing with the intention of getting to the interview, but it ended up being a really long chapter. I thought maybe I could half it and just provide some gentle Steve, Tony and Peter softness??
> 
> My darlings, Tony and Steve!! I love them,, also May Parker is still totally alive dw dudes
> 
> It's been fun, stretching my writing fingers!!!
> 
> sending y'all love ❤️❤️✨
> 
> Enjoy 🤘😔
> 
> Also, even though this is not important At All, I want you all to know when Tony says "Pete" he's pronouncing it 'pe-tee' not 'pe-et'.  
Thank you for your time. :) :)
> 
> edit: hi again. i just changed a few things up with this chapter, surrounding how the conference is going to work in the next chapter. :) i deleted like, one line ahah

"I am sorry, Tones," Steve said, his lips pressed into a downward curve.

Tony smiled up at him, fingers tangled around the loosened tie hanging from Steve's shirt collar. "I know, Stevie, I do."

He slipped his hands lose as he tightened the tie, pressing a soft kiss to Steve's jaw. "It's not exactly how I wanted it to come out, but we were always going to have to do this, no matter how or when we decided too." 

Steve sighed, but the frown marring his face softened. He watched Tony as he dressed himself for the upcoming press conference, walking up behind him as Tony stood in front of their bathroom mirror.

Tony placed his hand on the arm that snuck around his waist, smiling. "You nervous?"

The look that met his in the mirror was one definitely one of nervousness, eyebrows furrowed and body seeking comfort.

Steve tucked his face back into Tony's shoulder, pulling him closer to his chest with a soft huff.

"I just... I know you're not mad, but I still feel bad..." came the muffled reply, and those sad eyes reappeared in the mirror.

"You're too good to me, Steven. I don't mind this is happening now! We'll finally be able to be open in public. We won't have to hide this anymore." 

With a final glance in the mirror, Tony shifted in Steve's grip to face him, who once again tucked his face back into Tony's shoulder. 

"The conference is only an hour," He murmured, brushing his fingers through Steve's hair. "And Pep will be there the whole time. So will Pete!"

He felt Steve's sigh against his shoulder. 

"Let's do this then," He said, letting Tony lead him towards the door.

"Focus on the positives! You'll finally be able to take me on a date." Tony said, grinning back at Steve, who smiled back, melting a little at his partner's enthusiasm. 

When they reached the kitchen they found Peter waiting at the table, typing furiously on his phone. 

"Hey kiddo." Peter jumped at the sound of Tony's voice. "You ready to go?"

"Mr dad! I mean Mr Stark! I- Dad! Mr Rogers America sir! Are we leaving?" His nervous stuttering made Steve smile, and he saw Tony soften at the boy's words, moving on instinct to wrap Peter in a hug.

Tony had come so far in his relationship with Peter Parker - it astounded Steve, somedays, to remember how Tony used to be with the boy, full of worry and defensiveness over every single action. So scared of getting too close, but terrified more so of being too distant, too cold.

Driving Peter away in the same way Tony had been driven away from his father.

Tony's voice was almost inaudible when he next spoke. "You okay, Pete? You wanna call this off? I can do that," He said, hand coming up to brush away the boy's curls. "I won't mind."

Peter rolled his eyes, but the fondness in them was undeniable as he replied, "I'm okay, dad. Just a little on edge, but I want to do this."

Tony smiled back at him, reaching out to fix the boy's collar where it peaked up from beneath his sweater. It was Peter's usual combination of clothes, simply more formal, and it pulled a quiet laugh from Tony. "You can stop a bank robbery and backflip away from a bullet, but you can't work out a wonky collar."

"Meanie! I'm leaving without you now! Hurry up Mr America, we can't be late, or Miss Pepper will kill us!"

Steve intertwined his hand with Tony's again, laughing quietly. "Do you think he'll ever call me Steve?"

Tony shook his head, eyes crinkling around the edges. "Took him almost a year before he called me anything other than 'Mr Stark'. God, I love that kid, Steve."

"Yeah, I know you do." He said, turning to watch Tony's face, who was focused solely on the bouncing kid running through the halls in front of them.

"You excited?" He asked Tony, who made a small noise of confusion. "To finally get to tell everyone about Peter? Your favourite intern?"

Ahead of them, Peter tripped over his own feet, catching himself before he fell. He looked behind him sheepishly, fingers curled into the sleeves of his sweater. Tony raised his eyebrow at him, a playful smile crossing his face, and Peter ducked back around to stand beside him.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to telling the whole world how terrible an intern he is." Tony said, smile growing into a grin at Peter's indignant little "Hey!"

"I'm a_ fantastic_ intern! _You're_ a terrible boss!"

"Oh, am I now? And yet, despite all the warnings I, the terrible boss, gave you last Tuesday, you still managed to explode half the lab-"

"No I didn't, you distracted me! And shhh! We're gonna be laaate!" Peter said, calling back to them as he took off again, towards the car parked outside the compound.

Steve knew, deep down, that there was nothing to truly worry about with this upcoming conference.

They'd gotten the stamp of approval from Pepper Potts herself, for heavens sake - Steve _knew_ this was going to go fine.

But still...

Steve re-entwined his hand with Tony's as he settled into the back seat, who shuffled closer as he called out for Happy to drive. Tony didn't mention it, and Steve was grateful for that. All that time as a dancing monkey in the 40s, and he'd still never gotten his brain around to enjoying the spotlight.

Tony's thumb brushed over his knuckles, a silent symbol of comfort as he talked equations and formulae with Peter.

"Hey," Tony murmured, turning to run a hand over Steve's cheek as Peter leaned forwards to chatter at Happy. "This is going to go fine. You trust me, don't you?"

Steve smiled. "I do." He pressed a kiss to Tony's forehead. "I really do."


	8. interview p2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the interview! sorry to withhold it from y'all 😤, but it's finally here! ✨  
I just graduated highschool, and had my WACE exams, so i've been... busy, to say the least.
> 
> It's been too long since I've written any thing, im almost ashamed of this. is it bad? can i get some constructive criticism in the chat? that'd be great.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! 😌🤘  
ily

The hall is filled with a loud humming whilst Tony, Steve and Peter wait for the questions to begin. Peter shifts in his seat every few seconds, eyes seeking out May’s as she waits backstage, huddling as close as possible to the stage entrance.

Reporter worthy smiles and camera lights flash and gleam, the crowds buzzing with their impatience. The noise climbs and falls as Pepper exits the backstage area and takes her seat beside Peter, and chaos quickly erupts amongst the reporters.

“Are the rumours about Stark’s son -“

“What is the relation between Parker and Stark -“

“Are the rumours true, about a relationship between the Captain and Ironman and -“

“- Captain America’s stance on homosexua -“

“- The news threads on Twitter indicate a possible six children? What can -“

“Does Tony Stark have biological children?”

Pepper lifts a hand, a red eyebrow arched and lips pursed, and the room falls into a sullen hush.

“I will be taking questions one by one,” Pepper says calmly. “There will be regulations discussed at the end, as to what can be published in regards to Mr. Parker, who is still a minor.” She takes a calming breath and smiles around the room, as cameras flash.

“First Question; the status of Mr. Parker and Tony Stark’s parental relationship. Tony, if you’d answer?” Pepper asks, gesturing in his direction.

“I don’t have any biological children,” Tony says. “I took Peter on as an my personal intern, originally - Stark Industries often monitors certain schools in hopes of finding new members for our research teams, and Peter in particular… caught my attention, as someone who I could mentor, in a sense.” He tilts his head at Peter. “He’s smart. Real smart. Possibly, with the right teaching and proper access to materials and information, even smarter than me.”

Tony grins at Peter when he ducks his head, hiding away a pleased smile.

The audience _awwwes_ at the display, and the proud note in Tony’s voice doesn’t go unnoticed.

“And what do you say to the allegations about your other “children”? One Harley Keener and Abbey Keener? Who are the other “children” you claim parent-ship too?”

“I met the two Keeners during my time fighting the Mandarin, when I disappeared and was assumed dead,” Tony says, and Steve winces, reaching for Tony’s hand. More cameras flash, zoomed on the linked fingers.

Tony drags his thumb gently over Steve’s knuckles. “I landed in Tennessee, where they both lived - and currently live - with their mother. While I was there, Harley showed a lot of interest in the mechanics of my suit. After the whole incident I kept contact,” He continues, waving his free hand around for emphasis, “Wanted to make sure they weren’t too horribly scarred by the whole thing. I wanted to make sure they were well looked after, and it kind of devolved, after that. Now their mother and I sort of co-parent, I guess.”

He takes a steadying breath, and grins at the audience, shrugging his shoulders. “As to the other ‘children’,” He scoffs, “I don’t really know what Peter’s talking about, when he says I have six kids.”

“Yeah, you do! Well, okay, maybe it’s not quite six-“

“Exactly-“

“-more like, I dunno, twenty but you’re definitely like a dad-“

“Twenty!? I do not have twenty pseudo-children!”

“Yes! Yes you do! There’s me, Harley, Abbey, Spider-Man, Vision, DUM-E, U, Butterfingers-“

“The Bots to _not _constitute as my children, Peter.”

“- And Riri. Sometimes Shuri, when she feels like it. And the bots _do_ count as children, you throw _birthday parties for them_!”

“Yes well, that’s not-“

“Boys!” Their mouths snap shut, and Pepper laughs at their apprehensive faces. Camera buttons have a moment of reprieve. Pens pause on pages. “Next question, perhaps?”

“Right, right.” Tony says, squeezing Peter’s shoulder. “‘Course. What’s next?”

“Our last question for today is about your relationship with the Captain, Tony.” Pepper says, shooting them a slightly grimaced smile. Steve tenses.

“Ahh yes… well I guess we should just say it, huh?” Tony sighs, leaning down to catch Steven’s eye, where he’s ducked his head to stare at the floor. He looks up and at the uncertain look on Tony’s face, smiles and lifts their joined hands, pressing a soft kiss to Tony’s hand.

_It’s ok, I still want to do this._

The cameras go insane.

“Tony and I are currently dating.” Steve says, his voice clear. “We have been for a few years now. I… have been made aware that my face is often used by… certain groups to promote homophobia, or ideas about the ‘way things used to be’,” Steve continued, eyes focused loosely on the crowd of reporters, somewhat distant. “I want people to know that I don’t stand for it. I didn’t join the army because I hate all germans,” Steve said, sighing. “I joined the army because I hate bullies. Things _weren’t_ better back in the 40s. The medicine, the living conditions, the prejudice, the fear…”

He looks at Tony, smiling. “I like things better now. I got to meet Tony.”

There’s a soft fuzz in the room, and all eyes are caught on the tangible string pulling Tony Stark and Steve Rogers’ gazes together, full of love and-

“God you guys are gross,” Peter grumbles, loudly, and the intensity evaporates. Tony laughs and whacks him upside the head. “Subtle, Pete, real subtle.”

Pepper clears her throat, voice wobbly, and announces the end of the meeting.

The cameras catch the proud, happy glimmers in her eyes.

They catch the glimmers in Tony Stark’s, too.


	9. don't be gross, people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyo sorry for the wait again lmao

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

a PSI: if i see any of y'all fetishising mr stark and mr roger's relationships imma gonna have to kill ya

don't be gross, people. we're here to normalise and support LGBT relationships, not fetishise them!! that dehumanises their relationships!! don't be nasty

**michelle bones @MJ**

well said

**Sally B @lesbionest**

FACTS

**Toby Klingston @Klingy**

a woke king

**Flash Thompson @flashdashcrash**

@parkbench I AM STILL WAITING ON ANSWERS?? 

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

@flashdashcrash and i'm still waiting on my apology from you about me lying about being tony stark's intern but you don't see me screamin

**nedder @chairguy**

@parkbench and i oop

**Princess Shuri @WakandaNonsenseIsThis**

SIS SNAPPED

**michelle bones @MJ**

@flashdashcrash did you even watch the interview?

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@flashdashcrash My Kid doesn't need to explain anything to you.

**nedder @chairguy**

i think you killed flash

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

afsgdhfgjgkljj MR STARK

**michelle bones @MJ**

@parkbench Iron. DAD.

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

asdfAFDSGDH STFU @MJ

**nedder @chairguy**

he rly just STFU'd MJ EYE- rip peter, can we get an F in the chat?

**Cindy Moon @moon**

F

**Princess Shuri @WakandaNonseseIsThis**

F

**michelle bones @MJ**

@parkbench you buy me the book i wanted or you die, deal or no deal?

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

@MJ DEAL YES PLEASE SPARE ME IM SORRY I'LL BUY YOU THAT BOOK ON HISTORICAL WOMEN YOU WANTED ABSOLUTELY

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

@Iron-Man @CEOStarkIndustries wow that exchange was hauntingly familiar

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@dadvenger blocked. reported. divorced.

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

:( </3

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

okay who the fuck taught you emojis? @parkbench fess up

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

!!! it wasn't me!!!

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@buckybarnes-isa-loser what do you have to say to your charges of corrupting a nation??

**TheFalcon @buckybarnes-isa-loser**

@Iron-Man i wish

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

alright, i'll give the perpetrator $200 to fess up

**abbey queerer @brokemydorawatch**

@Iron-Man give it here dad

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

Abbey???

**harley queerer @brokeintomygarage**

ABBEY?? since when do you talk to captain america????

**abbey queerer @brokemydorawatch**

@brokeintomygarage since @dadvenger started dating our dad @Iron-Man??? someone had to lay down some ground rules

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

@brokemydorawatch WHAT

**tinyboi @ClintonJE**

oh my god i love this

**Toby Klingston @Klingy**

IM DYIN SHE RLY GAVE CAPTAIN AMERICA THE SHOVEL TALK

**Capdad America @dadvenger**

It was very persuasive

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

what even is my family??

**yeeter-man @parkbench**

idk but you're the one who bought the plane tickets for @brokeintomygarage and @brokemydorawatch. in a few days, we're all going to be in the same house. together. i n e s c a p a b l e c h a o s

**Tony Stark @Iron-Man**

what have I done

**michelle bones @MJ**

@Iron-Man gods work


End file.
